The Return!

I know, I know. Didn't this Sang fella do this already? Didn't he promise us new material two months ago and never delivered? Why should I trusts this prick ever again? He's not even my colour!

Well, my dear racist reader, here's the reason why I am back for keepses this time - I said I am.

But where the heck were ya?

I was away, kinda like Superman. They didn't really bother to elaborate on it in the $260 million movie, so why should I elaborate on it here, where I'm being paid absolutely zilch? Let's just say I went to Krypton for some business and pow, here I am.

So what do you have for us, oh wise and powerful one?

Not a whole lot right now, actually. I was just bored, it's 5 in the morning and I felt compelled to do something. I just finished a short story and I feel pretty damn good. Unfortunately my aspirations on writing a feature length novel has been somewhat dashed as I realized writing a novel is really hard and time consuming. And I could literally hear my heart break into tiny razor sharp shards, scraping away at my inner organs, whenever I realized my book sucks and needed to start over again. How Stephen King puts out 40 books a year, I'll never know.

Anyways, let's talk about something happy today - the NBA draft. Which was actually yesterday, but pay that no mind. The Toronto Raptors, under his lordship Prince Colangelo, decided to overlook proven NCAA talents such as nation leading scorer Adam Morrison and the explosive human pogo stick that is Tyrus Thomas to select Andrea Bargnani of Italy first overall. Well, Mr. Colangelo, I think you struck gold. Sure, he only averaged 11 points in the Euroleague whereas Morrison clocked 29 a game in the NCAA. Yes, he usually resorts to layups and babyhooks while Thomas flies over people. And fine, at 7 feet tall he's only 240 pounds, literally a stick man. But people fail to realize the plus side :

He's a Roman.

And last time I checked, Roman's were pretty kick ass. They toppled the Greek civilization, a civilization some would hail as the "Golden Era" in human history. They expanded their empire and fulfilled Alexander the Great's goals of dominating the known world (which by today's standard was only about the size of Ontario and Quebec). They created plumbing, expanded their culture, had gladiators and built some nifty buildings. They are the inspiration to up and coming empires like the United States. And overlooking Rome's inevitable decline due to political corruption, the barbarian hordes and the awesome might of christianity, history dicates that Bargnani will continue that tradition. He will lead the Raptors' dominance as they spread out and become the most fearsome basketball team in Ontario and parts of Quebec. High School and University teams shall whimper at their feet. The second Rome shall be found and its name is Toronto! Zeig Heil!

What? They play American teams?

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Umm...

Uhh...

Hmm...

Well....

You see...
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Look at the cute puppy!
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.....Hey Ed, where's the cute puppy pictures? What do you mean I burnt them with those classical books?

Well folks, where was I again? Oh right. The Orlando Magic made a great decision picking JJ Reddick 11th overall. That boy has the purest jump shot I've seen in a long time. Yep, that there was a great pick.

Well, to all it may concern - God speed.