Merry Christmas!

Or is it? With this season comes yuletide and joy. The merriment of men and the gathering of brothers in one common aim - the worshipping of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. But is that any longer the case? For the better part of the last century, someone else has ripped the limelight from Mr. Christ. Why, what great evil could possibly fathom to do such a thing? It is none other than the ruler of Valhalla himself - Odin! That's right, fellow first world countrymen, our society has reverted back to worshipping a pagan god on the birthday (Although Roman censuses move the actual date closer to March, but frivolous details aside...) of the greatest man to ever walk the face of the planet. A man that reigns seething brimstone down upon pro-choice activists and sends advocates of gay (sinful) marriage to a million years of sodomization (is that really punishment for them, though?). In other words, the left.

Odin, with your yearly hunting parties at Yule, to have the audacity to give gifts and candy to children who set out carrots and straw at their fireplaces, supposedly for your great horse Sleipnir. But when thought about logically, offering carrots and straw obviously originated during the time of Christ, hundreds of years after it originated in the Netherlands. Everyone knows Jesus was born in a manger, with plenty of straw and in that manger were donkeys who, of course, eat carrots. So next time Odin, when you see straw and carrots at the fireplace, back the fuck off.

So, this year, don't celebrate a heathen god. Celebrate the real one.

He died for YOU!

This post was sponsored by the Shoah Foundation.