Jurassic Beaver

Greetings and salutations dear readers. After a week of hard biting, life-threatening study and presentations, I am back, and I am about as good as I was before - because really, I'm hard to top. I should know.

So, where to begin after my break? Why, what about talking about the finding of a Jurassic-Fucking-BEAVER? Not only was this finding an important peice to the evolutionary model of mammals, it showed that mammals had mastered water a full 100 million years prior to what was originally believed. How's them apples reptiles? You ain't the only dominant OG water dwelling species from the jurassic period anymore. Okay, I see you fishes looking at me, but honestly, any species or classification of animal that jizzes on their eggs was messed up, is messed up, and will go on being messed up. And quite inconsiderate of other water creatures nearby. I'm also pissed off with Pixar making fishes look good in stunning CGI, not showing the real grit and grime of the fishy underworld. You know Marlin came on all of those eggs at the beginning of the movie, and to think this filth is shown to our children is atrocious. And really, talking fish? What in Satan's hell was that about? Almost as bad as talking toys, who are obviously inanimate objects for the entertainment of children. If any toy were to move about, it would be because of Hoodoo, and that ain't no Voodoo, which is an acceptable alternative faith to Christianity.

Wait, what was I talking about? Oh, right, beavers. Jurassic beavers! Okay, so not only does this prove that mammals were already on their way to dominence of this world, but it proves that Canadians are the true keepers of the world. Why? Because of this :

1. This beaver is 165 million years old, which means it is a dinosaur.
2. Dinosaurs kick ass.
3. Asses need to be kicked to rule the world.
4. The world is a sphere.
5. So is a basketball.
6. The NBA MVP is Canadian.
7. Canada's national animal is a beaver (Those who say Geese is a retard).
8. This jurassic beaver is an ancestor of today's beavers.
9. Eve had a beaver. Possibly a jurassic beaver.
10. This all then means we, the Canadians, descended from Adam and Eve, 6000 years ago.

So there you have it. After I get trained by the School of the Americas, I'll be ready to lead Canada to the apex of this world, for we were made from Eve's jurassic beaver!