Intelligent Design vs Darwin

Okay, I know, the actual topic of intelligent design versus gradual evolution is pretty old, but I feel the need to reiterate the obvious yet again - Intelligent design is right. What is being touted as pseudoscientific drivel is in fact the definitive explanation on which our universe is created. I mean, to accept the logic of evolution would be to slander the only truly right thing this world has going for it right now : Christian science. By accepting that we are all derived from the bombastically ridiculous idea of random gene splicing evolution would be to kick Jesus in the right rib while he was being crucified. Last time I checked, that particular rib was already tender due to some...unfortunate events.

No, we are not some freak summation of random mutations through the eons. We, the rulers of this planet (no matter what those damn tree hugging, animal-rights avtivising, hippies want you to believe), did not gain our currently complex brains and austere exteriors by a 1 in a trillion chance. No, that is unacceptable, for I am too damn perfect for that to be so. Intelligent design dictates that the growth of most things in the universe all had a masculinely helping hand (goddess worshippers, you should know better. You, too, wiccans). There is just so much going for the human race, not to mention the rest of the planet, that giving credit to a random evolutionary process seems ignorant. Ignaramously ignorant.

Sure, all of you fancy pansy primatological anthropologists' out there point to the fact that Darwinism, the act of survival, the guiding key to evolutionary theory, is indeed not random. That it falls under a probabilistic flow of evolution in which the environment and species play off of each other, dictating a progressive stream of genetic mutations and speciation. That nature itself is balancing itself to allow the maximum progression of the strongest and most capable species to become greater and greater, until eventually the byproduct would itself be able to study her surreal mysteries in long, boring and drawn out debates. But guess what, logic and reasonable explanation isn't good enough. Especially where this logic comes from - scientists. We all know scientists, even the social ones, are satanists and hold blood orgies every fortnight, feasting upon the entrails of unborn fetuses, sucking out the brain stem in the name of the dark lord. Personally, that's a tad bit too shady for my likings.

So, dear readers, you have to make a decision for yourself. Take the evidence I have just given you and critically think about the pros and cons of each side and then choose intelligent design as the ultimate theory. That's the only feasible way to go.



Because you aren't child murdering cannibals now, are you?