Kama Sutra

I think it is appropriate to take time away from reporting the truth and having professional accountibility to discuss an issue of such grave magnitude and implication that even I must sit back and be agape with horror. If you have been keeping up with the news, you know exactly what I am speaking of - the "Kama Sutra" worm virus that has the internet community riled up over the potential disaster that it can do. If security experts are right, and ewho can really doubt the words of an expert, the nature of the virus is to activate itself and corrupt roughly 11 different file formats. Its method of transmission is through emails promising enticing young women in 'compromising' situations. The deadline for the current start up has already passed and the full extent will not be felt until after the weekend is over and a full diagnosis of the situation can be made.

So, how can a computer virus have me in a fit of unmitigating anger? Because it lies. When an email enters my inbox and promises me extreme erotica, my Christian morals will obviously push me to investigate the site further and learn of what, ahem, content it provides and how it may compromise the ideals of young men and women out there. I sacrifice myself into the world of double penetrations and snowballing creampies not out of lust, but out of love. For your morals. It's people like me that are needed to control the thoughts of people like you. Instead of gang banging vixens, though, this email will install a virus onto your computer. Although I myself have not yet suffered through such hideous satanic tactics, this will indeed be a threat to all of the other devoted holy men of the world seeking to subject their unbending moral fibres to the wickedness of the internet, becoming the new martyrs of the new digital age.

So, to whom ever created this vile virus I say this - How dare you use the guise of sexually soliciting emails as your mode of transporting dot com terrorism! If you were real men, you would have stated your emails as what they were. An email called "Virus" is something that that takes guts. You apparantly lack it. You want my respect? Next time do that. If not, at least name them "Save the Amazon rainforest," to trick a few Liberal, tree hugging, God hating hippies into opening it. At least that way you'll be doing some good for the world.