The End Cometh

Well, Canada has voted and the results are in - doom and despair. For whatever reason, the people of Canada has elected the side of Satan for the next electorial term. Instead of a strong government with competent individuals to run our great nation properly, with dignity, and, most importantly, with corruption we opt for a viable alternative. But why would the people want such a thing as good government? Of course they wouldn't. That would be too easy. The inherent logic in such a choice has obviously boggled the lumberjacks and logrollers of the land. Today is not only a sad day in Canadian history, but for the history of mankind, as it is the first signpost of the impending rapture. Sure, I may be snug and cozy in heaven, as I am destined to go, but I know that many of my heathen friends shall burn in hell, suffering a million years of agaonizing sodomy. That would mildly agitate me for awhile, and I hate being agitated.

But, as God is a forgiving man, with a heart three times the size of a regular, ordinary heart, he not only has a vastly superior cardiovascular network but also the compassion and love only an almighty creator can have. Even more than Shiva, and that's a lot of heart. I should know. So, for the next election, smarten up people. Just because Satan presents himself in the form of a solid fiscal policy, promises of change, and more accountable government, you don't have to fall for it. Evil is evil, no matter what everyone else says. Oh, and Mr. Harper? If you're reading this, you can tell your Dark Lord that I'm here, I'm Christian, and God damnit, I will prevail. Biotch.