Vote or Die...

....Internally, as we Canadians do not approve of such violent tactics, even if Sean Combs advises it. Well, here we are, on the eve of possibly the greatest Canadian election of the past 2 years. So, the question is, who do you vote for? Fret not, dear readers (Who are Canadian, a voter, and are of least 18 years of age) I am here to informally inform you on the matter at hand. Let's take a look at the candidates shall we?

Paul Martin, the current Prime Minister and the head of the Canadian Liberal Party. Not only is he a successful business man with a bazillion dollars, he was also once the Canadian Finance Minister so he knows how to run an economy. With him in power, Canada erased a $42 billion deficit and has consistently turned a surplus year and year again while cutting taxes by $100 billion over 5 years. Even with a minority government, the Liberals have been kicking ass and taking names, even French ones, and yet here they are, forced to set up an election due to a vote of non-confidence. And over what? A sponsorship scandal. It's not like the man killed anyone. Personally, I don't care how corrupt a government is, if tax a cuts while still maintaining healthcare and increasing yearly surpluses are possible. This man is a miracle worker and anyone with half a fucking brain will vote for him. He is one of the few Canadian politicians that can be hailed in the same breath as Abraham Lincoln, Ghandi, JFK, the Dalai Llama and others. The end. Fuck the other candidates.

So, that does it for the pre-Election 2006 report. If you vote for Stephen Harper, you are a child killing rapist cannibal. If you vote for Gilles DuCeppe, you are French and therefore are nothing to me. If you vote for Jack Layton you are a balding, middle-aged hemophiliac has been who just so happens to be a child killing rapist cannibal. And as for Jim Harris and the Green Party, if you are even thinking about it you are a hippy, and my master plan will deal with you in 3 years.